All of the stars - english version
by hazalhia
Summary: Songfic on Ed Sheeran song. Bellarke moment during the separation between season 4 and season 5.


**First try for a song fic that had been running through my head for a long time. Because Bellarke is the best pairing, and because this song suits them so well.**  
**Also first try for a fic in english, it's not my native language so please be understanding (this is actually a translation from french)**

**Of course the universe and characters of The100 created by Kass Morgan and J. Rothenberg do not belong to me. Neither Ed Sheeran's music.**

* * *

**__It's just another night  
And I'm staring at the moon  
I saw a shooting star  
And thought of you__**

It is the middle of summer, I think. Seasons are no longer the same now , they have troubles going back to what we used to know. It's always almost the same temperature, but I don't miss the heat. It is mainly the trees that I use as beacons, they have kept everything in mind.

By night, I often look at the sky with Madi. You don't know her yet, but I hope I'll have the opportunity to introduce you to her when you return to Earth. It's a young girl, a little nightblood that I met at my arrival at Shallow valley. Cohabitation was not easy at first, but she means everything to me now. It's the will to protect her that keeps me alive.

It was by looking at the stars with her that I came to tell her about my life, about you Bellamy, and about all the others.

Tonight I wanted to be alone to contemplate this show : the full-moon that illuminates the trees and stars that line the sky with their delicate glow. The wind is fresh but I don't really care, I need to regain hope and those stars you're standing among are all that I have.

Every time I see a shooting star I make a wish, the one to see you all again. To see _you_ again Bellamy.

**__I sang a lullaby  
By the waterside and knew  
If you were here  
I'd sing to you__**

There is a river near the camp, probably one of the last to not only have dust at the bottom of its bed. I often go there to fish, or just to find a quiet place. Not that there's any real need for calm here, but this place calms me down. When I'm there, I don't feel like I'm surrounded by death and destruction anymore.

I started drawing again. I can't even remember the last time I held a pencil for this purpose, rather than to make a list of survivors.  
I did for Madi, to put a face on the people whose adventures I tell. I did it so I wouldn't forget your face, your voice. The scar on the corner of your lip, your eyebrows frowning when you're worried, the hair curls falling on your forehead.

Sometimes I sing too. I hum lullabies that Madi taught me, the only memories she has of her family. By the waterside some birds accompagny me, happy to have someone to sing with.  
If you where here I'm sure you'd think I'm a poor singer, and you'd laugh at me. And I'd probably answer by throwing water at you. Fortunately, birds are more lenient judges. I'm sure Octavia would be please to hear one of these song, don't you think Bellamy ?

When this is all over, when we'll be all together again, maybe I'd sing to you.

**__You're on the other side  
As the skyline splits in two  
Miles away from seeing you  
____But I can see the stars from America  
I wonder, do you see them too?__**

Sometimes, when I look at the stars, I try to see if the Ark is among them. I know it's not possible, but when the night falls on the horizon, it comforts me to know that I may have a chance to see you.  
You are so far away Bellamy, and I have no way to knowing if everything's fine for you. I can only hope that if I haven't heard from you in all theses years, it's only because of a radio issue. I don't want to consider anything else.

I wonder how it's going on for you up there : how's Monty's algae soup ? How do you manage to spend your time, now that there's not much left of the ship ? Have you seen Shallow valley from the Ark, did you understand that you can come back ?

To keep hope, I talk to you every day with these radio messages. I talk to you and look at the stars from that place they used to call America, crossing my fingers so that the next shooting stars will be your ship. Are you looking at them too Bellamy ? The Earth is livable now, you can come back home_._

**__So open your eyes and see___  
___The way our horizons meet___  
___And all of the lights will lead___  
___Into the night with me__**

**__And I know these scars will bleed___  
___But both of our hearts believe___  
___All of these stars will guide us home__**

When I open my eyes, I imagine you in the middle of the stars. Miles away from me, you continue to shine and light my path.

We both lived, we both suffered. You where the one that kept my wounds closed. You had the power to heal my soul, to relieve my conscience because you accepted all of me.

Your absence has created a void that nothing can fill. I can continue to live like that, but I lost a part of myself.  
The only thing my heart hopes for is that you follow these stars here. Up to me.

**__I can hear your heart  
On the radio beat  
They're playing 'Chasing Cars'  
And I thought of us__**

It took Raven several months to get me off the radio. She said that radiations prevented all communications, but I didn't want her to be right so I waited. I waited despereatly to receive a sign of life from the bunker or you Clarke. Even today, four years later, I still sit next to the radio and wait during a part of the day, just in case. Just in case you send a message. To hear your heart beat but and know you're alive.

The guilt is still there, it hasn't disappeared with time. It just buried itself a little deeper. I abandonned you. No matter how many times the others repeat me that you would have understood this decision, that is was the right thing to do, the feeling is still there.  
Sometimes, in my dreams, I relive the departure. You are coming at the last minute and I hug you, relieved that you are with us in the rocket. You are hurt, out of breath, tired to death but you are here. Then I wake up and I realize it was just my imagination.

One day while searching the remains of the Ark – partly to find useful things for living but also to spend our time – Monty found an old USB key, wich fell into a corner and was probably forgotten for several decades, if not more. There was music on it, very old music from before the first disaster. One of them was talking about lying down and forgetting the world.

When I hear it, I think of you. I would like to lie down beside you under the stars, and then we may forget the world around us too, all this destruction, all these wars. I stare at Eden, the only green spot left on Earth and I imagine myself there with you. No more rival clans, no more nuclear disasters, just you and me and the grass__ and the wind.__

**__Back to the time  
You were lying next to me  
I looked across and fell in love__**

I remember the day you became more for me. More than a support, more than a friend. That was the day we found the bunker, and the weapons. I wanted to ran away, I thought it was the best way to survive now that Jaha and the rest of the Ark were about to come down.

You gave me what I needed most Clarke. I was no longer alone , I had found someone for whom I mattered. You told me the camp needed me, that you needed me. You made me realize that I had something to bring to that world. That night in the woods, when you lay next to me on that tree, I knew you will always have a special place in my heart. At this moment I realize I was ready to risk my life for yours. It's from that day that I started falling in love with you, slowly but surely.

We were two sides of the same coin, sometime opposite to each other but always complementary. We needed each other, we were one mind.

But now you're gone, and all I have left are memories.

**__So I took your hand  
Back through lamp-lit streets and knew  
Everything led back to you__**

On the Ark, everything lead back to you. I also think to our lives before we were sent to Earth. I wonder how it would have been if we had met there, on the Ark. Me, the guard, and you, the daughter of scientists member of the board.

I don't know how we could have met, if we would have liked each other. Probably not. But after all, you told me that you didn't like me at first, when we were so close when we said goodbye just before Praimfaya. Would you have been the same stubborn, brave and dedicated girl I met in the camp?

Often I expect to see you around a corridor, that you will appear behind a door. You light up the place with your smile, or you grumble about Murphy doing as he pleases, and then everything is as it was before. I don't think I can fully accept the idea that you've disappeared.

I would give anything to be with you, even if i have to face the world. Facing things together was what we do best.

I will take your hand, to show you that you can always count on my presence, my support. I'll show you that I'll always be behind you, with every mountain you want to move. I will always be by your side. I was always by your side.

The head of our duo is gone, there's only the heart left that would like to believe so much that you're still alive. Sometimes I let this desire fill me Clarke, and I think to myself that, maybe, maybe you're looking at the stars too.

**__So open your eyes and see  
The way our horizons meet  
And all of the lights will lead  
Into the night with me__**

**__And I know these scars will bleed  
But both of our hearts believe  
All of these stars will guide us home__**

When I open my eyes, I imagine you in the middle of the stars. Milles away from me, you continue to shine and light my path.

We both lived, we both suffered. You where the one that kept my wounds close. You had the power to heal my soul, to relieve my conscience because you accepted all of me.

Your abscence has created a void, that nothing can fill. I can continue to live like that, but I lost a part of myself.

The only thing I hope is that you find your place among these stars, just as you did in my heart.

**__I can see the stars from America__**


End file.
